Although somewhere along the line you men were taught that proficiency in the video game world was equal to greatness in life in general, I'd just like to save you any further trouble from trying to impress young females with your "skills." Your "bad-ass-ness" on your Game cube is not an argument for us to sleep with you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. When you ask a girl up to your apartment after a lovely conversation over coffee, she's not interested in seeing "you" sleep with a hooker and beat her up on "Grand Theft Auto." We do not find it fun, interesting, or educational to watch a cop shoot innocent digital bystanders after raiding an S&M club. You are not cool because you invested x amount of time to get to a certain level. That's information best kept to yourself because if you share it, girls will immediately equate that with you being socially inept. Just a warning.
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And I admit, I have one special social retard in mind. Before tonight I was really interested in you because of our conversations, and I was even starting to wonder if I may want to get all naked and sweaty with you. I was all ready to go up to your place and start making out. Instead, you wanted to "show me something cool" and proceeded to zone out for THIRTY MINUTES on "just one more round." You didn't notice I was bored, you ignored me when I said I was tired and ready to leave, and when I finally got my coat on to go, you had the NERVE to ask, cluelessly, if you were finally going to see my boobs tonight. HA! After just half an hour of your display of "coolness", I have absolutely no desire to sleep with you. Ever. Your friends may revere you for rescuing Princess Zelda, but that's the only female action you're probably ever going to get. Learn how to play "Vice Squad" one-handed, because you'll be needing your other hand to forever play "girlfriend."