Hello Fellow New Yorkers!!!
It has come to my attention over the past couple of months, that there is a serious lack of knowledge on the subject of subway etiquette. I would like to take this time to bring up a few simple, unspoken “rules of the train” that will make your commute and my commute much more tolerable. I believe that if even 5% of the people reading this will comply, all of our daily sojourns on the train will become so much more enjoyable. Feel free to print this as a reference guide. I am also encouraging everyone to forward this to his or her friends, or make copies and pass them out on the train.
1. The Train Door – Ok, so I know that sometimes there is no way to avoid being caught up against the door, it is inevitability in all of our careers as commuters. However, if you are one of the poor souls who happens to be caught in this particular situation, there are a few things that you can do that will make the train traffic run smoother.
A. Please be sure that all of your bags, coats and other items do not obstruct the closing of the train doors. If you cannot prevent this from happening, then I suggest that you step off of the train and wait for the next train to arrive.
A. When the doors open, and people need to exit the train, kindly step off of the train, or position yourself in such a way as to allow the other passengers to exit smoothly. I promise you this, if you step of the train, you are obviously now in the front of the line to get off the train, and you will be able to re-enter the train after everyone exits. And most likely, upon re-entering the train, you may also find yourself a better spot within the train, as the exiting passengers have left you room.
2. Moving In – Nothing gets me more pissed off then seeing a whole crowd near the door, while the middle of the train is close to being empty. People, just move in. I know that you are anxious to exit the train, and being closer to the door is more convenient, but come on already! Is that extra 5 feet that you are going to have to walk really going to make a difference in your life?? Just move in.
3. Rush Hour – I know that missing the train at 2 o’clock in the morning is a pain in the ass, because you know another train is not going to come for an hour. However, this is not so at “Rush Hour”, when train run every five minutes. Even if there is a delay, you might be late 15, 20 minutes tops. That being said, if a train is so full that the oxygen levels are beginning to deplete and people are on the verge of fainting, why not wait for the next train? Why must you take the last 5 inches of free space…is getting to work, or home a few minutes later that crucial? If it is, take a cab.
4. Seats – I know this is a sensitive subject, so I’ll make this one as brief as possible. If there is 5 inches between two passengers, and you feel that you must sit down, why not be nice and just ask them if you can sit on their lap. It would be so much more polite. And if you see someone’s great-grandmother standing, or a lady who you can tell just worked 14 hours on her feet, and now has to go home and make dinner for her 6 kids, or a guy with a body cast on, why not offer them your seat? Its just good karma.
5. Odor Control – There is this invention, it came out a long time ago, its called deodorant. Its pretty cheap, and it will impress the ladies if you wear it. Oh, and for those of you with “sensitive stomachs”, or flatulence problems, can you hold the gaseous contents of your bodies until you get off the train? It might be a little uncomfortable for you, but its 10 times more uncomfortable for the people that have to smell it. The subway system smells bad enough without you adding your little flavor to it.
Ok, that’s pretty much all I can think of for now…feel free to improve on this little set of suggestions…
Thanks! I look forward to riding with you!!!